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It's time to scream

Your entire day is full of anxiety and concern. I understand. I’ve been there. You don’t have to live like this and I’m here to help. I take great pride in helping others whose bowels are relentlessly unforgiving. I once shat a peach pit. Wasn’t pleasant, but with a little guidance and training we’ll get you through this.

Loren’s Lamaze Lessons

You’re here because you hurt.  You’re here because you’re tired of having to locate the bathroom in a restaurant before you’ve sat down to eat your meal.  You’re here because your bowels don’t offer you the luxury of riding public transit.  You’re here because that ping in your belly isn’t playing the mental game – it’s playing the “drop everything and find me an f’n bathroom or bucket.  Immediately.”

You’re here because you’re too young to be wearing a diaper.  You’re here because your social life is suffering and your professional life teeters on brink of collapse due to your constant, and often inconsistent, need to dart to a bathroom anytime that evil little piece of glass scrapes your colon.

I’m Loren, and I’m here because I understand your pain, I care.  Wipe that bead of sweat off your brow.  Kiss your girlfriend.  Hug your children Let the blood flow back into your extremities.  Let’s get our GRUNT ON!