It’s Time To Scream
Feels like your world is falling apart, doesn’t it? It doesn’t have to be this way. It just doesn’t.
Your entire day is full of anxiety and concern. I understand. I’ve been there. You don’t have to live like this and I’m here to help. I take great pride in helping others whose bowels are relentlessly unforgiving. I once shat a peach pit. Wasn’t pleasant, but with a little guidance and training we’ll get you through this.
To celebrate our grand opening we’re offering you the following sessions with a host of well-respected speakers:
Registration: Visit www.getyourgrunton.com Today!
Opening Remarks: You are here because your life is a wreck
Roundtable Session: Why do people look at you like you’re an alien? Did you forget to shave? Is there something on your forehead? No. They stare because your little secret isn’t such a secret. The fact that you spend 80% of the work day on the toilet is a problem. We’re here to help.
Break: Toe tappin’ in stall 3!!!
Class Workout: One legging it just isn’t cutting it anymore. We explore some options to help you ease the pain and get the beef out of your system.
Tinkle Break
Lunch: Loren Morris guides you through the trouble areas with a special presentation of “Salad – why does it wilt in my butthole and look like shredded beef in my stool?”
Cram Session: Grab a partner and pencil to bite down on – this is going to be bad.
Breakout Session: Rhea – the good and the bad kind.
Special Presentation: Cat Mowar addresses the hardships our loved ones have to endure. With special roundtable from the girls in adjacent cubes and a collection of normal guys who have to share the same bathroom.
Break: Stay away from the coffee we still have a couple hours left!
Roundtable: Boxers or briefs? And, how many extra should I keep in my desk drawer?
Feature Presentation: Loren Morris walks us through a day-in-the-life. This is what you’ve been waiting for folks. This wee little man waddles through the office, squirms like a piglet on fire and gives you a glimpse into the inner workings of his bowel system. From there, Loren provides you with valuable insight into fighting the demons yourself. Interesting breathing techniques, things to grab onto and bite down on, masking procedures to calm other people in the bathroom, dialing 9 -1 just in case, best practices in flushing, sweatpants (friend or foe?), easy-off shoes AND MORE!
Sign up today and let Loren teach you the ways of “that guy at work that shits nonstop.”
Write a comment
You need to login to post comments!