Loren’s Lamaze Lessons

Problems & Symptoms

• Spend countless hours in the bathroom
• Sweat like a little piglet
• Nervousness
• Having a “back-up” pair of boxers in your desk drawer
• Close ones and relatives don’t “know” you anymore
• You’ve shat in a plastic bag
• You’ve shat in an alley
• You’ve chipped teeth grunting and grinding because the insidious pain WILL NOT GO AWAY
• Your girlfriend won’t let you near her bathroom
• You sit on a donut shaped floatation device because the burn won’t go away
• Your eyes roll back in your head and you are just tired of being “that guy” that’s always in the bathroom
• You can’t sit and enjoy a normal meal
• You crave fish dishes even though the consequences far outweigh the benefits of this tasty little dish
• You have screamed while on “the seat of ease”

Sound like you?  Let me give you a hand.